The title of today's post is a quote from the very wise Albert Einstein. If I were to change the quote to better suit me it would say:
"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things, AND DEFINITELY NOT A NUMBER!!!"
Easier said than done right? Definitely something I need to keep in mind as I continue to struggle.
My appointment with Lori went pretty well yesterday. She is so understanding and I'm very grateful to have her as part of my treatment team. I was really nervous to meet with her because she's like a family friend and I thought she would be disappointed in me, but she just emphasized that she wants me to be healthy and happy.
We went over quite a few things, primarily what damage Ed does to the body...most of which I knew, but were never enough to make me change my ways. Now I know that even had I wanted to I probably couldn't have on my own. Fortunately we don't think there's been irreversible damage...if I start to turn things around now.
I had more labs done and will be hearing back on them today. Right now it looks like I will be meeting with each person of the team at least once a week. Lori also started me on some meds that should help with the OCD/Ed behaviors.
Yesterday was the first time I've stepped on a scale since starting treatment...PANIC does not even begin to describe the way I felt. It was a blind weigh in so I wasn't allowed to see it, but Ed has me convinced that it had to have been up at least 20lbs (even though I know that's not really possible.) and that I should be ashamed for letting anyone else see how high the number is when it's not even an acceptable number for me. It was hard, as I'm sure it will be for a while yet.
Now back to the real reason I wanted to write this post. GOALS! In order to start getting past this breakup :) I need to consistently be setting new goals for myself. Some will be be day to day/weekly and others will be my bigger 2011 goals. If I post them here I'm hoping it will make me more accountable and push me harder to achieve them.
Here are just a few...
1. Continue your journey to a HEALTHY life.
2. Keep up this blog...and since cooking/baking is your passion as you recover start transforming it from a ED support blog to a healthy living/food blog.
3. Learn to relax again and enjoy the simple things!
4. Break free from your normal routine and try new things/foods/workouts etc.
5. Get out on your wakeboard and kick some ass....after a year and a half hiatus. (More motivation to get rid of Ed, otherwise I won't have the energy!)
I hope to start working toward all of these and continue to add even more! In order to accomplish these I looked to another quote by Larry Elder.
"A goal without a plan is just a wish." So, I knew I had to come up with a plan for each of the goals.
1. Continue to meet with Sarah, Lori, & Molly. Accept the support that is being offered and stay positive! You want this and WILL do it!
2. Post at least a couple of times a week. Start sharing your meals...(once at that point) and workouts. Share recipes!
3. Put things that can wait on the back burner. Take time for yourself, even if it's just a minute or two, and enjoy family and friends...that workout does NOT HAVE to happen right now. It will still be there if a few hours, tomorrow, or even this weekend.
4. Don't plan everything down to the finest detail! Follow your heart more, not just your schedule!
5. Set your board somewhere where you'll walk by and see it everyday...it will serve as a reminder of what you are trying to accomplish.
Today I had a smaller goal...to eat breakfast. I DID IT! Ed was there with me the whole time pushing his guilt and shame, but I didn't let it defer me and persisted!
Do you have any goals for 2011?...How are you going to accomplish them?